On guidelines for raising children is a vast literature and many experts. Drink them we are dedicated to help families in their educational work. The list of strategies, guidelines, tips and even recipes that there is long and exhaustive.
But today I propose something complicated: summarize in just five tips for raising a child. They are not alone, but at least, they should always respect them.
First.Set a good example
People and children learn primarily by imitation. Children imitate what you do, what you fail to do, what you say and how you say it … imitate acts and attitudes.
Your children will learn from you, but if your good advice are inconsistent with your behaviour, embarrass first, then they will learn your inconsistent behaviour.
Thus oil: being a father, a mother, forcing you to be exemplary.
The message from mom and dad cannot be contradictory. If you want to educate your child, you have to agree.
The agreement must be in ” the big questions “: how you want to educate, in major decisions about your education, what values you want to instil… But the deal is also for” the small “decide on the day to day decisions on standards and everyday.
Each will have its style and its mark, but the message that the child or the child receives from you has to be the same.
Three. Having standards
Children need limits and rules. If they are closed, they suffocate; if they are too abstract, they will be lost.
The rules are the basic rules of the game, the limits within which they can move freely. The rules cover basics schedules, activities, relationship with people, family organization, personal safety, compliance with own obligations, etc..
In the rules is key to be factual, ie are met and respected. There are better formulated as ideal and then not be required nor are met.
April. First reason
We are rational beings and that we must respect it and use it. Reasoning means to explain why the rules, the consequences for oneself and others for one’s actions, and to some extent, dialogue and negotiation.
With young children reasoning is limited, but we must try the first choice. In older, it is imperative.
As many experts say, with little reason and less and act more, with older, less and act more reason.
The father-mother-child relationship is a fundamentally emotional relationship. Love means hug, kiss, care, worry about your business …
Love is demanding, then love is also correct, help improve and demand the best of each. Love without requirement is pure fussiness, I read once.
Finally, love involves spending time, quality is important, but there is a minimum amount that is indispensable. Dedicate to children only time that would be plenty for us we reflect and we revise our ranking of preferences.
Of course, there are many more guidelines and strategies, but at least What do you think these five? I remember them: a good example, to agree, to have rules, reason and love first.